TED Talks
Surprising Lessons from 100 Days of Rejection: Jia Jiang (2013)
The concept: Rejection Therapy– the idea that by intentionally making outrageous requests and facing continuous rejections, one can be inured to the irrational, paralyzing fear of rejection.
Lessons: while there is indeed a lot of rejection, surprisingly you may get more than an expected number of yes’s. If you put yourself out there, the world will open up to you. You need to get out of your own way. Fear may be the only thing holding you back.
The Power of Vulnerability: Brene Brown (2010)
The concept: Vulnerability is seen as weakness, but is also the source of joy and “wholehearted-ness”. In defending ourselves against vulnerability, we often unwitingly pay a high cost. We numb vulnerability (e.g. with drugs, material goods) but in the process also numb joy and happiness. We blame others, we crave certainty, we try to perfect. By recognizing our crutches and having the courage to let others in, we may gain connection.
Lessons: Connection is the cheese–gives people meaning to their lives. Shame is the fear of dis-connection with others.
– Worthiness: the only thing that separates those who had a strong sense of connection and those who don’t, is that the former believed they were worthy of love and belonging. Let yourself be seen deeply, love wholeheartedly, practice gratitude and joy, and be compassionate to yourself and others.
How Great Leaders Inspire Action: Simon Sinek (2009)
The concept: “People don’t buy what you do, they buy why you do it.” Human biology is such that decisions are made from the limbic portion of the brain, which controls feelings and behavior. People are influenced by leaders who articulate vision and mission first. Followers are those who believe in the same cause. Plans and implementation are secondary. The Law of Diffusion of Innovation states that mass adoption of an idea comes only after a sufficient number (around 15%) of early adopters (those who believ what you believe) in the market accept it, before reaching a tipping point.
How to Make Work Life Balance Work: Nigel Marsh (2010)
The concept: We need to acknowledge a societal problem: some jobs are fundamentally incompatible with achieving work-life balance. Companies are designed to be profit-maximizing; we must take responsibility for designing our own lives and enforcing our boundaries. Balance does not require large dramatic changes; it can be made of small actions.
A Kinder, Gentler Philosophy of Success: Alain de Botton (2009)
The concept: The way modern society defines success is causing career anxiety. People judge others based only on their job titles. Because we believe in ideas of secularism, equality, boundless opportunity, and meritocracy, we believe people’s station in life is fully personally deserved. The side effects are that feelings of envy, low self esteem, and shame accompany failure– there is no one else to blame but yourself. We over-attribute success to personal qualities and not enough to randomness. We should define success by ourselves, not by others (e.g. our parents, the media, prevailing culture).
Why People Believe Weird Things: Michael Shermer (2006)
The concept: Humans naturally look for and often see patterns where none actually exist. When encountering strange things, skepticism and simple explanations are usually warranted, as shown through various funny and revealing examples.
The Discipline of Finishing: Conor Neill (2013)
The concept: One of the simplest tests for predicting future success is a child’s ability to self-control (Marshmallow Test). Warren Buffett decides on who to invest in based on three criteria: 1) integrity, 2) energy (health and action-orientation), and 3) intelligence (adaptive). To maximize chances of success, invest in yourself. Spend time on your important things (align your calendar to your priorities), focus only on the next small step, and write things down!
How to Buy Happiness: Michael Norton at TEDx Cabridge, Apr 2012: Key is to use money for others, not for yourself.
Google Talks
Tim Ferriss
Speeches
“We Are What We Choose”: Jeff Bezos’ Commencement Speech to Princeton University, May 2010
From a childhood story about being clever but mean to his grandmother, Bezos exhorts us to have the courage to make the right choices in life– to take the difficult but more meaningful and righteous path, rather than to succumb to the easier, more conventional, or fearful one.
“How to Live Before You Die”: Steve Jobs’ Commencement Speech to Stanford University, June 2005
“The Last Lecture”, Randy Pausch
Anna Quindlen’s Commencement Address to Villanova University, June 2000
Quindlen encourages us to live a full life, to focus not only on achievement, but to pursue and enjoy the magnificent journey itself. You are the sole custodian on your life. So, get a real life: one with a soul, with people you love, and with appreciation of the beauty of the world.
“This is Water”: David Foster Wallace’s Commencement Speech at Kenyon College, Class of 2005
Learning “how to think” is really about exerting control over our thoughts and consciously constructing meaning from our experiences, to continually remind ourselves to be aware of our automated ‘way’ of thinking– our natural and conditioned biases, and to intentionally avoid thinking in our “default” mode with un-critical, self-assured arrogance, and to not sleepwalk through life. This is our ultimate freedom we gain from a real education.